Wednesday, February 8, 2012

Senior Year

Wow, I can't believe I haven't blogged since November!  Where in the world did December and January go?  Oh, that's right--it's Anna's senior year and for any of you who have gone through this with your kids you know exactly what I mean!  Life has become a whirlwind of activity of going this way and that, filling out applications and scholarships, proofing their essays and stories.  All I really want to do is just STOP for an week, a day, an hour, a minute...heck just a second and hold her hand to make sure she know exactly how much she means to me.

People have taken to saying "I bet you're going to miss her."  They have no idea.  Let me share with you a little glimpse of the amazing and unique relationship I have with this girl.

She was born and I fell in love.  I was young, idealistic and just wanted to hold my precious baby every moment.  I absolutely loved getting up in the middle of the night feeding her sweetly as I prayed over her and whispered in her ear about all the world being just for her.  How one day she would grow up and have dreams and make them come true.

She was a child who filled every day with a new perspective.  Rushing in with her "Mama....Mama" and "did you know" and "can you believe?"  She shared with me a glimpse of the world from her perspective.  We went back to Oklahoma and visited and she would ride in the front seat with me as we sang kid songs at the top of our lungs!  Skinna-ma-rink-i-dink-i-do and Once an Austrian went yodeling for a hundred verses.  Let's not forget that hole in the bucket dear Liza.  Laughter, learning and love the three "L's" made up every day!  Still praying over her as she sleeps sweetly--whispering to her about the world being just for her.  How one day she would grow up and have dreams and make them come true.

She was a teenager who began to spread her wings becoming a little independent yet sharing so much of "her" with me.  The long talks, the sprinkles of advice and still the days filled with laughter, learning and love.   Anytime she has something important to say, she grabs my hand...sometimes I'm busy and she insists.  How I wish I had taken just a little more time.  She was a bit bigger up high on her loft bed but still I prayed over her as she slept--whispering to her about the world being just for her.  How one day she would grow up and have dreams and make them come true.

Seventeen...last week, we bought items for her dorm room!  YIKES!  We came home, she took my hand and said "mama, when does college start-September?"  I said, "no, August."  She threw her arms around me because it had just hit her--it's February and she has six short months.  I know how much her world will change.  I know she will go to college and have the time of her life.  I know she will spread her wings and soar far higher than she can even imagine.  I also know that my life will never be quite the more sweet Angel number one grabbing my hand and telling me the news of the day.  I will have to learn to adjust to a cyberhand as she reaches out through text, phone calls and skype.

I'm proud to say I have no regrets.  I have worked hard to help her grow deep roots in who she is so no matter where she goes, no matter if it's New York City or just next door she will know without a doubt that her Mama is proud and loves her.

So what does this mean for you?  Take that extra minute to squeeze your little ones today and every day.  Enjoy every moment of every day, even the bad ones because we learn so much from every experience.  Talk to your kids, more importantly LISTEN because relationships are a two way street.  Respect your kids, their minds, their time and their opinions--believe me it will make a difference.  For me, I've got six months with Anna, seven years and six months with Melissa and ten years and six months with Jessica.  I am going to go blow my nose, wipe my tears and enjoy today and not worry about when they are gone because I know like every stage they've gone through it will happen at just the perfect moment and I will be prepared because I am crazy blessed and oh-so lucky to be the Mom to the three greatest Angel Girls!!

PS--Each night after my kids are fast asleep or early in the mornings before they wake, I step into their rooms and pray over each of them.  I pray for things like health, wisdom, kindness, and self control. I whisper to each of them about all they can be; reminding them how special and unique they are, telling them how much I love them and will always be here to support them.  Right now is an emotional time for me as my Angel One is preparing to fly from the next but it doesn't mean I love her best, I'm just in a different place with her.  I love all of my girls and feel just as passionate about each one!!  As my grandpa used to say--"when they're little they walk on your toes, when they grow up they walk on your heart."  Oh how my heart is feeling her as she prepares to walk to the next chapter in her life.