Wednesday, March 21, 2012

The rest of my life...

When I was a kid I shared a room with my sister; in it hung a poster that said,

Today is the first day of the rest of my life

I really didn't understand it but through the years I have come to experience many days when I woke up and uttered those exact words to myself.  It's about doing away with the old and embracing something new.  It can be I'm going to begin drinking more water and make it a habit for the rest of my life.  Or it can be something grand like...with this ring, I take you to be my partner for the rest of my life.  Sometimes the first day is something not so pleasant like the first day you continue the rest of your life without someone you love.

As most of you know, I'm not one of those daily, weekly or even monthly regular bloggers.  I only blog when something happens in my life that moves me to get my feelings down on "paper" and share them in order to provide myself with a therapy of sorts.  Today is one of those days.  Today is indeed the first day of the rest of my life..."

Last night, I was perusing Facebook which can be a good thing or it can be very dangerous.  Last night, I guess you could say it was dangerous; for with my surfing came the certain knowledge that someone who has been a part of my life for a significant amout of time...well, let's just say it hurt.  It hurt really bad.  Not the kind of hurt where you shake your head and walk the other way but the kind that is like a knife right through you heart.  You know the kind that literally takes your breath away and you find youself sobbing and gasping for breath?  Yeah, it was one of those.  Had it been just one of them I would have passed it off as a mistake but when their partner did the exact same thing I knew it was intentional.

So I cried, I even raised my voice as I sobbed against my husbands loving arms.  Thank God for the love of a good man who is a virtual pinnacle of all that is right in my world.  Today, I awoke and again uttered those words to myself,

Today is the first day of the rest of my life

You see, I can hold my head high because I know I have done absolutely nothing wrong; the only thing I can be found guilty of is loving the above people and today, knowing how they feel about me I am finished.  I can stop.  Negativity only bogs you down and today I am free to live the rest of my life will I love them, yes because that is what Jesus commands us to do but will I allow them to have the power to hurt me?  Absolutely NOT!  Because guess what?  Jesus didn't say anything about liking everyone and I certainly don't like the way these folks have behaved.  Will I forgive them?  They are already forgiven; but forgiveness doesn't mean that I put myself in the same situation.  Because today I am crazy blessed...crazy blessed to be married to Teddy Don; crazy blessed to have three beautiful, smart and sweet girls; crazy blessed to have friends like you; crazy blessed to be able to wake up and start and for the rest of my life!

Friday, March 9, 2012

To sign or not to sign...that is the question

When we moved here I was surprised to find we were moving to a county that was dry.  At the time, I was a young mom and my life was totally wrapped up in being a Mom and Wife--I didn't really care about the alcohol situation one way or another.  During the time we've lived here there have been a few attempts to get the question to a vote; they've always failed.  This time however the supporters have the backing of the Walton brothers--I've noticed petition gatherers on lots of places:  the Walmart Home Office parking lot, First Friday, Pinnacle's White Oak Station and the list goes on and on.  When I refust to sign I hear a lot of snide remarks about how dare I not sign:  don't you drink, don't you know how much money our county is losing because of the taxes?  I can only imagine what they say after I'm gone.  However let me tell you another side...

When we joined Living Waters UMC, our family renewed a friendship with Tim Summers...he happens to be the Executive Director of Decision Point.  Our church began doing some volunteer jobs like planting flowers, painting, etc. at Decision Point.  We got to know some of the clients and have come to love some of them like family.  They have worked hard in their recovery to stay clean and sober.  I've seen families work to regain nursing licenses, buy houses and support their families by doing "grunt work" in order to improve their record to get better jobs!  Hard working incredible families.

These families live in Bentonville, Bella Vista, and Rogers which are all in Benton County.  Imagine them going to the grocery store on a bad day and passing the aisle with beer, wine or other difficult will it be to keep from falling back into the arms of their old demons?  You're crazy blessed if you're able to enjoy a glass of wine or a bottle of beer without it triggering the need, the desire to have another and another--I totally respect your right.  I'm crazy blessed on Sunday mornings when someone in our congregation says "today I celebrate 5 years sober..." or "today I celebrate 6 months sober..."

Now I understand you want the "convenience" of picking up your bottle of wine or spirits at your local store.  But think about it what is the price to others in our community?  How many alcoholics will struggle even more?  Are their those in our community who have intentionally chosen to live here because the alcohol is NOT on local shelves?  So when you sign that petition or eventually vote yes, take a moment to think about the life you may be destroying.