In August 2012, what happened that caused a Bentonville mom to leak profusely from her eyes?
- Dropped phone calls
- Text messages
- Letters in the mail

In the weeks leading up to the big day, I had lots of cases of the "leaks." Those unexpected episodes of tears streaming out of my eyes seemingly without cause or reason. I explained to her that it was normal and uncontrollable that I didn't want her to be sad I just want her to go to college and be the best she can be, the tears aren't that I want her to stay but rather an outward reflection of how I will miss seeing her sweet face every day.
Flash forward to the actual day and I did pretty good! I didn't cry as I walked out of her dorm room and left her in a new world. I shed a few tears on the way home but over all it wasn't as bad as I had anticipated. When we got home we had so many things to fill our time for a few weeks that I didn't have time to dwell on the fact that she was gone. I started school with the littles and life seemed to be just fine until last weekend.
College girls will do what college girls have always done-get in their vehicles, drive to the nearest mall and SHOP! I understood that and was fine with her going to Joplin with her friends until I was in Oklahoma at the Lake talking to her on the phone. She was rattling on about how much fun she was having and that they were almost there. As I drove on, service got sketchy and she began to fade as we both simotaneously said "I'm losing you, I love you, goodbye..." oh my that seemed so final. I began to sob uncontrollably as the emotions swept over me. I was no longer in control. I no longer could protect her from harm. I was no longer the safe place for my A #1 Angel girl. I had reached the point where I realized that I had done all I could and now, now she is in God's hands. I have to trust and believe that I have raised her right and that she will make good decisions and stay safe. Wow, that's a load to grasp driving down some hillbilly road in eastern Oklahoma.
The other day, she dropped me a note with a trinket she had picked up on her trip to the Mall. It was engraved with "a daughter is a forever friend." Of course I fled the scene and escaped to my private retreat (AKA my bathroom) to sob and say a word of thanks for a daughter like her.

The video isn't professional but here it is, enjoy!
I cried watching the video because it seems like just yesterday we were her age, hanging out in our apartment, and enjoying college life. I have so many fun memories of us and of course, Dog.....I'm still crying....thanks for posting. Apparently I needed a good cry:)
ReplyDeleteIt seems I'm finding myself in need of those cries more often! Remembering our college days is part of my anxiety for her! :)
ReplyDelete