Thursday, July 25, 2013


I've had a Facebook account since Anna was a young teen and wanted to join that scary social network.  My rule was let me get an account, check it out and then if I think it's "safe" then you can have one.  Now through the years, I've experienced all kinds of people on Facebook-I've learned which of my "friends" are real and which are superficial.  I know which posts are true and which are just for looks.  Sometimes, I can even tell when someone is having a bad day just because their status seems "off."

I strive to use my Facebook as a tool, allowing it to reflect my beliefs, my pride in my children, my love for my husband and my passion for gardening (or perhaps that should honestly read my passion for my husband and love for gardening)!!  Regardless of which face my status is displaying it is always real.  I never lie about how I feel, what I am doing or about my kids to make them seem more than they are.  Some days the Littles drive me batty and I'm ready to walk out of the house with my hands thrown in the air when Handsome arrives home!

A few years ago, I started this Blog.  It was a way for me to share more in depth things that are on my mind.  It's almost like an occasional ache inside of me and the only way to soothe is by sharing my words here.  Again, my Blog is real-the things I share are my true feelings and emotions.

Yesterday, on Facebook I shared and asked for your support.  The "likes," the comments, the personal messages, texts, and phone calls have overwhelmed me beyond belief.  So today, I wanted to take a moment to say thank you--years ago, Bette Middler sang "The Wind Beneath My Wings" and today, I get it on a whole new level!  I'd like to share a little more about me today...

In 2006, about a year and a half after the birth of Jessica I was tired of being FAT and wanted more than anything to lose weight.  I heard the radio ads and saw the newspaper ads for a place called Metabolic Research Center and went in for a FREE consultation.  They had me hook-line-and sucker!  For over a year, I prescribed to their strict food regimen and drinking their special protein koolaid 5 times a day-their goal was for their clients to lose a minimum of 3 pounds each week.  When you didn't, there was guilt and shame...when you did, there were silly gifts like a bell for every pound lost, a string for your inches, a flower taped to the wall, etc.  I worked their system-hard; I lost just over 100 pounds.  I was happy where I was but not down to their required weight for my height.  I was ready to start exercising (strictly forbidden by them because we all know muscle is heavier and they didn't want us to "gain") and go on maintenance.  They said no so I quit.  I went rogue and began going to the gym, even though I was exercising, I began putting all the wrong foods in my mouth and over the next 18 months gained every pound back-quit the gym, quit on myself.  I was miserable.  I was a failure.

In 2007, some personal events happened in my life and I needed help.  I was totally stressed and felt like I couldn't cope.  I began to see a therapist for a few months...he listened, told me stories and empowered me to be a stronger more confident person regardless of my size, the size of my house, the make & model of my car, etc.  I cannot begin to stress to you that I am a FIRM believer that our brain is another organ and sometimes, it is our worst enemy.  Every one of us could benefit from an impartial listener who doesn't run and tell our thoughts/fears/worries and has tools to help us learn to deal with things.  I am very vocal to those who know me well about the importance of good mental health and am open/honest with my children and husband.  As a matter of fact I encouraged Anna to make use of the College counselors office.  Dealing with her Dad being sick this spring, the diagnosis, sickness and loss of her Papaw James were a bit easier because she had developed a relationship with her counselor.  As such, she applied for and will be a peer listener at Cottey this fall-I am so proud that she has learned the value of caring for her mind as well as her body.

So, back to my body-I had become content.  I didn't care what my scale said-I'd go months without weighing.  I felt good, my bloodwork was good and my overall health was fine.  Whether it was stress or whatever I was miserable in December and reached out to the medical community in hopes of receiving some relief from what I thought must be chronic fatigue syndrome. When the medical community failed to help or even acknowledge my symptoms, I thought I was going crazy and turned to my friends who suggested I look at my diet.  I did.

All I did was change what I ate.
All I did was change what I ate.
All I did was change what I ate.
All I did was change what I ate.
It was that simple.  The fog began to clear, I began sleeping more soundly, I had more energy, I smiled and laughed more, I began to really enjoy my Husband and kids in a way I haven't in a long, long time.
A dear friend invited me to a 5K so I started walking, and walking, and walking, and walking.  I noticed my body began to change more and more.  I felt a power from within that I had never known.  I felt amazing!
Then it happened in June I hit that proverbial plateau.  I was doing all the same things yet the scale was failing to move.  In my mind, I began to mull over all the negatives but decided it was okay I had lost about 50 pounds and if I was happy before with my weight I should just be happy now.  But, I have these wonderful children and this Handsome Husband--I can see the pride in their eyes when they look at me and see how far I've come when all I can see is how far I've left to go.  I enjoy the way I eat and am confident I will never return to a life filled with processed foods, breads/grains, sugar and high fructose corn syrup but I have this urge inside me that I need more...I need to make my body work, I need to make it more efficient.
So, as my status read:
Okay my awesome friends I've done it! I paid my $50 to the WLFC for their sculpt & tone PEP. Now this includes two scans in the Bod Pod, those of you who watch the Biggest Loser may recognize it-I however had no idea what it was. Needless to say, I'm thankful I've been working hard and losing weight because I wasn't at all pleased with my results. Last night, I felt like I was going to cry bec...ause I was horrified at my percentages however this morning after the rain it was like a cool, refreshing breath of encouragement. I dragged myself back to the Fitness Center for my appointment with Mr. Bod (you know the guy who shaves his head, has muscles on top of muscles on his 20-something perfect body) who took me to the circuit training room-he proceeded to instruct me on using the 10 machines plus a bonus 5 cardio stations-woo-hoo! So starting off with 2 days a week eventually working up to 3, he assigned me to go through each of the machines twice at 15 reps per visit at the maximum possible weight and do two intervals at each of the 5 cardio stations. So this overweight, middle aged housewife is going to learn how to: do 15 body weight squats, scissor kick, plank, jump rope and do step-ups each for a full 60 seconds. When I walked out of the fitness center, I felt like every one could see my thighs quiver....y'all keep up your positive vibes because I'm gonna need them! I'll be training with him again on August 29th and having another Bod Pod scan in 12 weeks, I look forward to seeing positive results!!feeling Crazy Blessed!
This morning, my body feels like the quivering old lady but thanks to each of you I am holding on to all the positive thoughts, prayers, vibes, chants and well wishes.  I am remembering exactly how crazy blessed to have each one of you in my life.  My hope for you is simple-if you are not happy, I mean truly, deeply happy change it.  You are in control of you-you get to decide what direction your life goes-if you choose the negative it will consume and overtake you.  If you ever need a listening ear, a caring heart or a friend who has been crazy blessed beyond belief by you, please don't hesitate to email, call or text.  For like a candle in the dark, one small flame can make a difference and one friend can make a difference.
I  love you!
Today I'd like to leave you with a little David Bowie-one of my favorites!

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