Wednesday, November 30, 2016
Anna is now a bonafide adult. She pays her own rent, buys her own gas and groceries, has THREE real jobs (all relating to her degree-you know she told me she might as well work, she has nothing else to do yet...), a cat, a dog and a boyfriend of two years. Those things are indeed accomplishments but they aren't really what you share in casual conversation or in a Facebook status. "I'm so proud of Anna, she paid her rent on time today!!!" "Woo-hoo, Anna meal planned an bought groceries today!" "Would you look at that, she's such a good dog-mom, she takes Stella to the dog park at least once a week!" My friends would call me crazy and Anna would quickly encourage me to hit the DELETE button!
When the kids are still at home and it's easy to see their everyday accomplishments I believe the brags are directly due to our "planting seeds and sprinkling" you know the little things we do and say to train up our children. My philosophy has always been to use a sprinkle technique to water the seeds of learning. I don't often give long lectures, I've never grounded a child. I've never been "ugly mom" aka the one who yells, loses their temper etc. without coming full circle and humbly apologizing for my behavior. I work hard to give direction, encouragement and lessons by sprinkling just a little bit at a time, my theory is if I "flood" them with too much they'll overload and those precious seeds will just run off and be wasted. The struggles I have are often because of my own frustrations manifesting themselves through my children. It seems the days the kids are the most defiant are the days I'm struggling with things of my own. The days they are arguing, I have usually started my day out with stress and am giving that negative vibe. Every night when I lay my head on my pillow, I pray that somehow our children will take the sprinklings that have afforded them accomplishments and grow them into something beautiful in their lives. Sometimes at night, I'm like the mom in "I'll Love You Forever," I sneak into their rooms and pray for them...I've even been so bold as to brush their bangs from their foreheads and plant a kiss while those sweet angel girls were sleeping!
This weekend I realized that beautiful blossom that grows may not be something you can really put your finger on. It may just be your child becoming a good person themselves. Anna calls me almost every morning; I enjoy her rambling about hanging out with a friend, going to the dog park or sharing her to-do list for her job that day. Honestly, sometimes she calls and rants, complains and gripes about one thing or another and I just listen, commiserate and love her. Our calls always end with her sweet voice proclaiming, "I love you Momma!" My heart nearly bursts with excitement every time. Every time. The other day I realized all the things I had hoped for, all the prayers for her becoming something beautiful was readily evident, I only had to look. The seeds we planted and oh so carefully and lovingly sprinkled for 17 years and 10 months living under our roof had blossomed. She sprinkled me by giving a mom the gift of planting a seed in her daughter. I was humbled.
Then she surprised me with this text. Not only does she work for a church, she met her boyfriend there and traditions mean something because she created her own advent wreath with the thought that it would last for years.
I am indeed one crazy blessed Momma. One girl raised, two to go. Just under four years left with Frick and just under six with Frack. I know those short years will fly by, I'm going to have to make the best of them and continue sprinkling them every day!